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Inspired Thoughts

I’ve been on the k-os message boards the last couple days, and reading the thoughts and postings of others inspired my own. I have decided to share one of them with you.

Thinking about my fear of the future.

It’s not so much that I’m afraid of getting hurt, as it is that I’m afraid of success, afraid of my own power.

Every day, every moment, every NOW, we are evolving and owning more of our true selves, more of our power (not power as in dominance, but power as in personal strength, acceptance, and willingness to stand in our thoughts and beliefs). I know for myself that if I had seen where I would be today 2 years ago, I would have been too afraid to proceed. Not because I am in a bad place, but because I am in a good place.

I think we have been conditioned to not accept the good in ourselves, to not allow ourselves to be happy and successful, or to not think that we deserve it.

So for me, the future is scary because it means being more of “me”, and I have no idea what that entails. So really, it’s more a fear of myself, than a fear of the future.

Like laser.beam said, we remember experiences from the past where we were hurt, and try to prevent that hurt in the future. This is SO true, even on a subconcious level.

I know that whenever I allow things to be good, and I am living in the moment, and I feel joy and honour for being here, on this planet, and for my life, something happens to pull me out of it.

I know this is me creating that distraction. Almost like I’m saying “Hey, remember last time you felt so good?? ya, remember how hurt you were afterwards?”.

I’m working on that. Convincing myself that who cares if I get hurt in the future, right NOW I am happy and joyful and having an awesome time. If I prevent myself from experiencing JOY now in the fear of having it taken away in the future, I am really hurting myself NOW. So, would I rather hurt now, or in the future? My choice is never. And if NOW is all that there is, my only choice is to allow myself to be full of JOY now, and if I maintain JOY in the NOW, the hurt will have to wait in the future, which, since the future doesn’t exist as an experience, then I’m good to go!

light, love, giggles,
chantal :)

11:11

Posted: September 18, 2006